Take Control of Your State with the Two Rooms Technique:
Much of my work is based on empowering people and helping them to take genuine ‘response’ability’ for their lives and to make better choices. [ I love the word ‘responsibility’; it means the ability to consciously respond as opposed to unconsciously react.]
I first developed my Two Rooms process several years ago when I was asked to work with a group of teenagers who had been excluded from the mainstream school system. They were classed as ‘difficult’ and not much was expected of them. They were bitter, angry and clearly very much the ‘victims’ of their upbringing and difficult environment.
I worked with them for several weeks, looking to build their trust and to give them tools which would empower them to make different choices. One of the tools was The Two Rooms technique.
It is applicable to all of us and is based on the fact that we associate our memories in predictable ways. We link them together to produce neurological pathways. We skillfully link all our happy /positive memories together and link our unhappy/ negative memories together. Its just how we operate as humans!
How it works :
Imagine that your brain consists of two rooms. One is your ‘Happy Room’ and the other is your ‘Unhappy Room’. At any one moment of the day, you are in one room or the other.
In your unhappy room are all your unhappy, negative memories, experiences, thoughts, feelings etc - all your fears, anger, doubts and anxieties. And what happens is that if something occurs which causes you to feel ANY of these emotions, it places you in your Unhappy Room instantly.
A true story using the Two Rooms Technique:
In your Unhappy Room you find yourself surrounded by all your unhappy ‘stuff’. Everywhere you look you find this negative stuff! It is therefore logical to assume that if your environment is filled with negativity, you will constantly find yourself in your Unhappy Room. It is habit forming. Your Unhappy Room will become your default setting!
You become stuck in your Unhappy Room. You don’t realise that there is a door leading out of your Unhappy Room! The first step is to notice that door, then to open it and to step out into the corridor. Across the corridor is another door. That door leads to another room; your Happy Room. In your Happy Room are all your happy and positive memories, thoughts, feelings etc. All your hopes and dreams are here too. Step into this room.
Look around you and notice what you see. What is the first happy thing that you see? Observe it closely noticing all the details, the sounds, the feelings associated with this experience. What else do you see? In this room is all your creativity and problem solving ability, all your achievements, your successes. From this room you can move forward from a position of strength!