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How to Get Agreement!
To give yourself the best possible chance of getting someone to agree with you, it is extremely beneficial to get them into the habit of agreeing with you. Do you agree? :-) Have you ever bought something that you’ve later realised you didn’t really want or need? Have you ever agreed to something that subsequently you’ve wondered why you agreed to it? |
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Have there been times when you’ve wanted to get someone to agree to something that would be in their best interests but they’ve been unable to see it or simply refused?
Do you enjoy spending time with friends and family?
Do you remember the last holiday you spent where you really relaxed and was able to recharge your batteries?
Are you open to exploring new ways which could help you become even happier in your life? Or more successful?
Ok :-)
Maybe you’ve spotted that these are all questions that I am encouraging you to say ‘Yes!’ to? Or not? I don’t know....
There is a powerful influencing language pattern called Yes Sets and is based on a feature of how our brains operate. It is similar to the concept I discussed previously in ‘Nick’s Two Rooms’. ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ take us off into different places in our brains..... different neurological pathways. ‘Yes’ takes us into the agreement part of our brains and ‘No’ into the disagreement part.
In sales ‘Yes sets’ are often called the yes-ladder.
Remember that whenever someone starts agreeing with you, they’re more likely to continue agreeing with you, because you’re activating the agreement part of their neurology. They get into the habit of ‘yes’ and the further along the ‘yes’ path they travel, the further away from ‘no’ they get. So ‘no’ becomes much more difficult. A way that you can use this is to begin making statements or asking questions that people must agree with, because they’re simple facts of life. They’re simple truths.
What kind of statements can you use for a ‘yes-set’? Well, typically anything that’s true, but, because we’re talking about the language of influence, we want to use items that will fit the context that you’re talking about.
Yes Set Number 1: Repeat What They Say
For example, as a therapist, I would often start off by making general statements that are true about a client.
For example: “You’ve come here from this part of town. You’re here to resolve a certain problem. This problem is something you’ve dealt with a long time and now it’s time for you to stop it.”
Think about this. I have made a whole bunch of statements which are true. Why? Because they’ve told me that they are true. And it almost seems like I’m kind of rapport-building, or just kind of getting my own ideas clear in my own head.
The same can be true of a salesman. For example, a salesman can use a ‘yes ladder’ by saying, “So.... you’re looking for a car that’s fast and economical, has 4 doors so your family can all fit in, has got a large boot, but it still has a sporty feel to it.”
Think about what you’ve just said there.
You’ve made all these comments - which seems to just be a summary of what someone else has asked you for – so they will be agreeing with it anyway; they’ll be interested in hearing it. But more importantly, you’re beginning to activate their ‘yes’ neurology; their agreement neurology.
So it’s a very, very important principle when understanding the process of influencing others. AND... you’ll be able to spot when others are using it on you!
Do you enjoy spending time with friends and family?
Do you remember the last holiday you spent where you really relaxed and was able to recharge your batteries?
Are you open to exploring new ways which could help you become even happier in your life? Or more successful?
Ok :-)
Maybe you’ve spotted that these are all questions that I am encouraging you to say ‘Yes!’ to? Or not? I don’t know....
There is a powerful influencing language pattern called Yes Sets and is based on a feature of how our brains operate. It is similar to the concept I discussed previously in ‘Nick’s Two Rooms’. ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ take us off into different places in our brains..... different neurological pathways. ‘Yes’ takes us into the agreement part of our brains and ‘No’ into the disagreement part.
In sales ‘Yes sets’ are often called the yes-ladder.
Remember that whenever someone starts agreeing with you, they’re more likely to continue agreeing with you, because you’re activating the agreement part of their neurology. They get into the habit of ‘yes’ and the further along the ‘yes’ path they travel, the further away from ‘no’ they get. So ‘no’ becomes much more difficult. A way that you can use this is to begin making statements or asking questions that people must agree with, because they’re simple facts of life. They’re simple truths.
What kind of statements can you use for a ‘yes-set’? Well, typically anything that’s true, but, because we’re talking about the language of influence, we want to use items that will fit the context that you’re talking about.
Yes Set Number 1: Repeat What They Say
For example, as a therapist, I would often start off by making general statements that are true about a client.
For example: “You’ve come here from this part of town. You’re here to resolve a certain problem. This problem is something you’ve dealt with a long time and now it’s time for you to stop it.”
Think about this. I have made a whole bunch of statements which are true. Why? Because they’ve told me that they are true. And it almost seems like I’m kind of rapport-building, or just kind of getting my own ideas clear in my own head.
The same can be true of a salesman. For example, a salesman can use a ‘yes ladder’ by saying, “So.... you’re looking for a car that’s fast and economical, has 4 doors so your family can all fit in, has got a large boot, but it still has a sporty feel to it.”
Think about what you’ve just said there.
You’ve made all these comments - which seems to just be a summary of what someone else has asked you for – so they will be agreeing with it anyway; they’ll be interested in hearing it. But more importantly, you’re beginning to activate their ‘yes’ neurology; their agreement neurology.
So it’s a very, very important principle when understanding the process of influencing others. AND... you’ll be able to spot when others are using it on you!
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Yes Set Number 2: State Obvious Facts
This is also known as pacing current experience. For example, ‘Isn’t is a beautiful day?’ or ‘Isn’t this a fantastic venue?’ You can make statements and ask questions about what is in front of you. So these are things that are verifiable and true. Yes Set Number 3: Make Truisms Other ‘yes-sets’ however, are a little bit more devious. They’re what we call ‘truisms’. A ‘truism’ is something that everyone tends to agree with as a way of looking at the world. The old sayings like, ‘a stitch in time saves nine’, ‘better late than never’, ‘better safe than sorry’. These are all truisms. These are all things that people are culturally conditioned with and tend to agree with. Now, anything can be a truism provided it fits into the cultural context that you’re part of. So, for example, sports fans will have certain truisms about their particular sport. People in business will have certain truisms about their business. For example, ‘you know, it’s about profit, about bottom line’, ‘it’s about making sure your people can deliver’. Now all of these things can be used as a ‘yes-set’. |
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Conclusion
Do you see that getting someone into the agreement part of their brains will make them more agreeable to whatever you’re asking of them? Yes? :-) I go into more detail in my Ethical Influencing workshops and you’ll get to play with some real life examples so you get the hang of it. And of course, this is just one of the techniques we’ll be playing with!
Do you see that getting someone into the agreement part of their brains will make them more agreeable to whatever you’re asking of them? Yes? :-) I go into more detail in my Ethical Influencing workshops and you’ll get to play with some real life examples so you get the hang of it. And of course, this is just one of the techniques we’ll be playing with!
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Who is your trainer?
Nick Lees Nick Lees is an international Mind Coach, Hypnotherapist/GHSC accredited Teacher of Hypnotherapy, author and presenter of various unique workshops, seminars and programmes including Ethical Influencing, Breakthrough Limiting Beliefs, MindHeart Power for Success, the Wandering Wizard series and It’s Not About The Horse. He is the developer of extROARinary performance for professional and elite amateur golfers. He was born in the UK and is now living in Abu Dhabi where he is sharing his knowledge with individuals and organisations. He has worked in the UK, Ireland, the USA, South Africa and Sweden and over the past 12 years has developed a unique approach combining traditions and practices from ancient cultures with the latest discoveries in cutting edge science, quantum physics and psychology. This enables his clients to access their inner latent potential and to achieve success in all areas of their lives. He can be contacted at nick@quadaural.com |
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